How He Makes Me Feel
by IzzyLawliet69
Summary: LightxOC. Sequel to Make Some Noise, Baby. After L dies, Kia isn't sure about her feelings toward L. How does she handle it? By throwing herself into work, that's how! I DO NOT OWN DEATH NOTE, OR ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS.
1. Chapter 1

Okay guys! I don't own Death Note, nor do I own ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS! PSHHH if I did own Death Note, the least I could do was not kill everyone! Anywho, there's slight LightxOC, nothing major, and I believe there's hinted LxOC. Hope you likey. Reviews are appreciated.

_Is he really dead? _I thought. There was just no way, _no way,_ L, my one and only love could have died. And to think... It was my best friend that did it.

It was only two days after L declared his love for me, two days after I was finally and truly happy. L completed me, after all those years of pining and lusting after the giant panda. And then Light ruined it all. Light killed one of the two people I'd really trusted with all my heart.

Even with all the heart break I'd gone through, I couldn't bring myself to cry. Tears were never really my thing, especially when it came to other people. Crying... I can't ever remember a time when I cried. I suppose, at the time, I was too angry to actually think about the years of loneliness to come.

Someone knocked on my bedroom door, interrupting my thoughts. I quickly cleared my mind of all thoughts before choking out, "Come in."

The heavy wooden door creaked open, and in came Light, the murderer. "Hey," He said calmly, gently, almost apologetically. He knew I knew he killed L. He knew I would never fully forgive him for doing such a thing. Yet, my head told me to move on, move on to Light, someone I'd known and trusted for years. Part of my mattress sagged under his weight as Light sat down on the other end of the bed, making sure not to touch me. He attempted to make me feel better by giving one of his dazzling smiles, but his face soon fell when I didn't give any kind of reaction. Light sighed with impatience, his calm and collected manner still overtaking his body. "Come on, Kia, you can't hold on to him forever. I had to-"

"You didn't have to do anything! He wasn't even suspecting you then, Light? Couldn't you see it? He was finally realizing, no matter how stupid he was for believing you, that you _weren't _Kira! Couldn't you see it in his eyes? He wanted to believe you, he really did. So why did you kill him, you- you... You _**murderer?!**_" I lashed out at Light, pushing myself off of my bed so that I was standing over him, trying desperately to get my point across. A few tears sprang to the rims of my eyes. I willfully pushed them back, never letting my guard down in front of Light.

Golden eyes stare at me, never moving away from mine. His eyes were searching for something, something I would never allow him to see, not in a million years. A look of sadness and a sliver of disappointment crossed his face, agony overwhelming his eyes. "Can't _you _see that I had to protect myself, and you? What if L found out you have a Death Note, too, huh? Do you think he'd allow you to live on like this, just because you don't use it? Think about that, Kiara." With those harsh words, Light slammed my door shut, his footsteps receding somewhere unknown.

Defeated, I sank down on my bed, thinking about what Light said. He did kill L for his own protection... Even _my _protection... But could I ever really forgive him for doing such a thing? He killed the one person I truly, honest-to-God, loved.

_Is he really the __**only **__person you've ever loved? _A voice in the back of my head asked me, almost teasingly.

Mulling over the words of confusion my own head supplied me with, I curled into the fetal position and began bawling my eyes out, wetting my bed sheets all the way through. Was L really the only one who'd make my heart flutter with each greeting? Was L the only one there for me? No... He wasn't... All those times I'd had to consider my conscience in using the Death Note, _Light _was the one there for me, giving me those words of wisdom I'd needed to make my decision. _Light _was the one who gave me advice about how to act on my feelings for L... And maybe that whole time, Light was thinking about me, and my well being.

_But is that really enough to make me want to move on? He is a killer... He's killed thousands of people. I can't ever forgive him for that kind of crime... He killed the one close to me. The passion he puts into making a 'New World' overwhelm him, and make him seem like someone he's not. Could I deal with that? Is it a risk worth taking?_

My mind argued with itself, logic never coming through any of the words penetrating every fiber of my being. I didn't reach a decision that night. Instead, I curled into my still-soaking blankets and drifted into a deep slumber, every thought leaving my cluttered and fucked up mind.

***the next morning***

Sunlight shone through my blinds and leaked through my eyelids, waking me up from the dreamless sleep I was absorbed in. Wonderful aromas drifted in the air and reached my nose. It smelled like... Breakfast. Something wonderful. Something so familiar.

Intoxicated by the bouquet in the air, I lazily stood up from my bed, bare feet touching the cold wooden floors of my room. A breeze blew through the space around me, causing me to shiver. I looked down and saw that my clothes were damp from the tears stains I'd let out the night before. Then, the memories of what happened came rushing back: the self-pity I'd inflicted upon myself, the way Light tried to make me think like him, the mixture of feelings I'd experienced for just about ever.

Mind still clouded over, I stripped and put on fresh, warm and dry clothes and walked straight out of my room. I ended up in the kitchen, where Light stood over the stove cooking what seemed to be eggs and bacon. I stared at the figure before me, taking in the sight of my... friend. This time around, ever change caught my eye.

I'd known Light ever since primary school- we'd been in all the same classes up until we graduated. He's told me everything, that is, until he found his Death Note. Drinking in his new looks, I saw the slight change in his appearance- his jaw was slightly more sculpted, his collarbone and arms more lithe. His hair had grown longer and lighter, still keeping its copper color. His eyes became more almond shaped, finishing the changes in his face. His hands seemed more calloused, more worked. The long, lean legs he stood on grew longer, making him even more taller than I.

After countless minutes of my observations, Light decided to acknowledge my presence. The man before me turned around from his culinary masterpiece to look me up and down. "You look like hell," he commented before rounding his body back to face his food.

I glared daggers at his back before pulling open the fridge, scanning whatever food we had. Surely after last night's argument, Light wasn't going to make me breakfast, right? So, I pulled out a carton of milk and a bowl, then picked up a box of cereal, making a bug show out of what I was doing. The whole time, I was pouting like a little kid.

Light looked at me suspiciously from the corner of his eye. He sighed. "Did you think I wouldn't make you breakfast?" His voice implied something I couldn't understand.

"Uh..." I stuttered, unable to make up coherent sentences. "No?" Still unsure of what was going on, I put back everything I'd grabbed and sat down dutifully at the table. Light just laughed at my stupidity.

He continued cooking, silence taking over the whole house. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but a fitting silence. During the length of the non-loudness, I thought over what had happened over the span of a few weeks: We'd caught Misa, once and for all, L and I had 'gotten together,' L had died, and Light had become the only person in my life.

The doorbell rang, breaking me away from my reveries. "I'll get it," I said, still unsure of the current situation I found myself in. My chair scraped across the tile, but I don't think Light or I noticed it much.

When I reached the door, I yanked it open a little too roughly, making the wood thud against the plastered wall. "Oh, hi, Matsuda. What are you doing here?"

The hyperactive agent, Matsuda, had a bouquet of assorted flowers in his hands. He chuckled a little nervously, odd for him, and said, "These are for you and Light, you know, to make the house more lively and all..." he trailed off.

Confusion flickered across my face. "Oh, well, thanks." I took the flowers and set them in a nearby container. "Do you, um, want to come in? Light is making breakfast." I asked politely. What? Just because I was in a state of mourning and permanent dizziness doesn't mean I get to be rude, now does it?

"Oh, sure, if you don't mind?" Matsuda replied, hesitant of what I really meant.

I laughed a half-way forceful laugh and added, "Please, I'd really like to go over a few things with you, anyway. About the Kira case." He nodded curtly and followed me into the back of the apartment, and ended up in the kitchen.

Light was setting up plates and serving the food for he and I, when he saw Matsuda trailing behind me. He gave me a questioning look, but quickly set out a third plate and split the food accordingly. I motioned for Matsu-chan to sit down. Light and I exchanged a look of agreement before we both sat down, Matsuda in between us.

"Okay, look, I know it's only been a week since L... moved on, but we need someone to take over."


	2. Chapter 2

**Authoress' Note: So, I was looking through my stories and noticed I never posted the second part of this story. I don't know why... But here it is! I haven't edited it or anything, though I really want to. Just scanning it... I can tell there are lots of errors. But... Here it is!**

**Reviews appreciated!**

* * *

Matsuda stare at me blankly. "It's obvious isn't it? Light takes L place."

It was my turn to stare at Matsuda, no emotions showing. Light... Take L's place? Does that mean... In my heart too? I thought, my mind counteracting everything I thought was real. I mean... Light? He's insane... Right? But he's also sweet, and he's always been there for me to talk to... I just... Don't know! My chair scraped against the floor as I nodded a goodbye to Matsu-chan before stalking off to my room.

Back in the dining room/kitchen, Light apologized for my unusual behavior. He led Matsuda-chan to the door, politely asking him to leave, still apologizing for my off mood. Light told the oblivious agent that I'd been acting like this ever since L died, that it was normal behavior for this kind of situation.

"I just hope she'll be fine for the case. L wouldn't want emotions running amuk, now would he?" Matsu laughed softly, turning to leave, waving slightly to the pissed off Light waiting to yell at me for what I'd done and how rude I'd been.

When my door squeaked open, I wasn't shocked to find Light staring at me, red in the face from anger. His golden eyes stare deeply into my green ones, searching for something, something I couldn't give him. I sat in my spinning chair next to my desk, staring back at my best friend, the only one I had left in this cruel world.

Light sauntered closer to me. Once he was a few inches away from me, he knelt in a compassionate, almost sorrowful way. He grabbed my cold hands and cradled them in his own. He never once unlocked our intense gaze, and I was happy he didn't.

Just then, an emotion crashed over me, flooding my whole body like a wave. I'd felt it before, some time in the near past. I couldn't put my finger on it... It was strange, yet familiar. The familiarity became more clear as Light leaned toward me, his face now only centimeters from mine. As his soft, warm lips came down on my own, I realized where the feeling came from:

the deep pit in my heart screamed for him, for L.

The proximity of our bodies was too great to ignore- he was practically on top of me. What shocked me most was that I found myself pushing myself forward, giving him everything I had at the moment. Everything that I had may not have been great, but I'd given it up for him so quickly, just like that.

All kinds of emotions were swimming in my brain, like fishes in the wide blue sea. Sadness, happiness, love, hate, anger, everything... The sadness I held close to me, from L's death. The happiness of the realization that, yes, there is life after someone has been ripped away from you so cruelly. Love, for the friend I'd always been around. Hate, for the friend who'd betrayed me in a way no one had before. Anger, for the friend who'd murdered the one I loved, along with so many others in the world. Familiarity- the thing that kept me both with Light, and away from him.

Familiarity... this has all happened before... Light is just going to die, like L did. No one can take care of me, love me, for more than a few moments, right? Right, world? Because I didn't use everything I could have, I'm being punished...

I pulled away from Light abruptly. He looked at me questioningly, curiosity visible in his honey eyes.

"I... I'm sorry... It's just... L..." I stuttered, unable to explain what I was really feeling.

Light sighed, running his hand through his copper tresses. He sat back on his butt, making a soft thud on the wood floor of my room. "I should have known. I was going too fast. I'm sorry." His eyes pleaded, begged, or the response I knew I couldn't say without lying.

I sighed as well, the sound echoing bouncing off of my dark red walls. I slumped onto my bed without having to move a whole lot, which I was thankful for. Light still sat on the ground. He stare at me. I stare back at him. No words were exchanged.

My best friend's (was he really my best friend? More?) laptop made a beeping sound from the other room, signaling an incoming message. We both headed toward the sound, only to see a gothic lettered "N" on the screen.

Sighing, I left the room, uninterested in solving the damned Kira case that I already knew the outcome of. My room seemed... Off. It was uninviting to me. Instead of going to Light, who I couldn't really trust anymore, and confiding in him, I crawled into bed with my clothes still on and fell asleep quickly.

I was woken up y someone shaking me. My eyes fluttered open and Light's face came into blurry view. "Light? What the hell? It's like three in the god damn morning!" I yelled, voice still heavy with sleep. When I saw the emergency in his eyes, I jumped out of bed, still thankful that I didn't change into my pajamas. Light grabbed my hand and practically dragged me out the door.

We hopped in the car. Light started the engine and drove off. During the incredibly long drive, I dozed off a few times, only to have Light shake me awake. After a few hours of what seemed like wandering driving, I asked him where we were going, only to get an answer of "You'll see." Pissed with Light, I sat back in my seat. My arms were crossed over my chest as I pouted. I know I was acting like a five year old, but when your best friend wakes you up in the middle of the night, kidnaps you, and won't tell you where you're going, you'd be acting like this too.

Finally, finally we stopped the insanely long ride. Opening the door with a bit too much enthusiasm, Light whisper-scolded me to be quiet, and check for cameras. Still dazed, I followed Light into the odd abandoned building complex and checked the corners for cameras. I found nothing.

"There are no cameras." My voice came out like a whisper, yet it seemed too loud for the dead silent space we were in.

Suddenly Light turned to me, his face serious. Love, caring, and sorrow filled his golden flecked eyes as he spoke, "Whatever happens here... I love you. Remember that, always."

My eyes grew wide. "Light... What are we doing? What's happening?" panic over took my whole being. Light... dying? And what was this about him loving me? What?

Confusion dusted my features, but I shook it off as I jogged to catch up with Light. Soon I found myself in a room with Matsuda and some of the other agents on our team, as well as other men and a woman in suits, and little boy no older than ten on the ground with a mask on his face. The mask, I noticed, resembled L. I was confused as hell, still. Then, I saw the figures on the ground. They were children's toys, no doubt. One had "l" written on it, another "X Kira" and "L Kira" and then "Near" and then "Mello"... the list went on. There were seven figurines sitting there on the ground in front of the little boy.

I took a closer look and saw that white hair stuck out in curls, framing the mask covering the guy's face. He spoke, Light replied calmly, and the bantering went on. The heavy metal door opposite me opened, revealing a guy who I knew as Mikami- he took Light's place for a while, I remember. Words were said, but I wasn't listening, couldn't comprehend. The toys in front of the guy were knocked over, one by one, purposefully.

Before I knew what was going on, Light was laughing like a maniac. I'd heard him laugh like that before, so many times, when he'd talk about becoming the God of the New World, and whatnot. It scared me, this time, though. He was really, absolutely crazed. It was like never before. I saw Ryuk out of the corner of my eye, as did everyone else. I still didn't know what was going on, aside from the fact that Light was going ape on everyone. He pulled a slip of paper out of his watch and tried writing a name on it.

The Death Note... Impossible!

But maybe it wasn't.

Ryuk, as slow as ever, took out his Death Note, and wrote something down in it.

There, before my eyes

Light fell to the ground in agony.

Blood fell from his hand, where Matsuda shot him.

He was crying.

He was begging,

He was reaching out to me.

Then

he died.


End file.
